I heard we're supposed to get snow today and I'm so excited! There is something so wonderful about staying inside and snuggling under a cozy blanket that makes me so happy. Also, I'm loving this warm and adorable sweater from & Other Stories. It's thick so it keeps me warm but it doesn't feel too bulky. This necklace I've layered with the sweater is an oldie but I'll link similar ones below.
These booties are a go-to for me and I love them! Still wanting them in black. I need a good black bootie in my life. This two toned beanie is so cute and I just love pom pom beanies! My gold MK watch is my absolute favorite. I reach for it all the time.
My denim is old but I will link denim that is similar that I am currently loving. This bag was a gift from my hubby a few years back but again I will link similar style bags to create a similar look here! It's almost Friday... Yay! Has this week been dragging for anyone else?! Ugh.
I'm in one of those mom ruts where I feel like I'm failing at everything. Literally, everything. Ryder is going through some changes and he's been driving me mad!!!! And then when I eventually lose my shit on him (#fail) I feel so, so terrible. And disappointed with myself. I was texting a couple friends this morning about my mom struggles. I'm so worried about not loving them when they need love and not giving them enough discipline (shit it just took me 5 times to spell "discipline" correctly!) when they need boundaries. Being a mom is truly the hardest thing I've ever done. The best and most overwhelmingly wonderful thing I've ever experienced, but it comes with a lot of guilt, sadness and failures.
I try to do activities that are fun for the kiddies on a regular basis. Going to the park, pool (obviously not in winter), playdates with friends, story time, soccer practice, gymnastics classes, music classes, etc. I also try to make sure I get some one-on-one time with each kid each week. Which doesn't always happen, but it's a goal. I try to create time to do crafts and sit on the floor and play with them. But let's be honest, it's boring! Sitting on the floor and watching your kids read the same books over and over again. Or watch the same movies over and over again. Or do the same puzzles over and over again. Let's call a spade a spade, it's boring. It's wonderful and a gift to be able to stay home with my babies and sometimes these moments are adorable and fill my heart with so much joy. But there are a lot of times I'm thinking uuuggggghhhhhhhhhhh when will it be over?!?! It makes me so sad when I look up from my phone or the laundry or whatever I'm doing in that moment and realize I haven't spent any time taking in my babies yet today. Like, really taking them in. Snuggling their little faces and watching them play and learn. It makes me miss them in the deepest way and hurts my soul like daggers are shooting through it.
I feel so sad that I am bored playing with my kids!!! What kind of mom is bored while hanging out with her kids?! Insert ugly Kim K cry. My friends were so encouraging this morning. Reminding me that I don't need to be perfect. To give myself grace. Why is this so hard?! They poured into me and I truly feel God used them to heal my broken heart. I am so grateful for friends who keep it real and I feel comfortable texting them at 1am to tell them (with 1,364 sobbing emojis) I "suck as a mom". They were so kind and lifted me up! And they're right. Life is ebbs and flows. Not every day or week or season of motherhood is going to look the same. I have to remind myself that it's ok to be bored one day and then go to the zoo the next day and be completely present with them in those moments! Isn't it funny how we tend to see the worst of ourselves? My friends text me all the things and ways I am present and loving my kids. And I realized they were right! In the end, I hope they know God and feel loved by their family. I think my kids enjoy their life and feel so much love in our home. All days aren't going to be rainbows and butterflies or trips to the Children's Museum with six of their best buddies. Some days are tantrums and timeouts and movies all day while mom folds laundry and vacuums the entire box of cereal that they decided to dump out onto the carpet and then walk on! Eye roll. Ugh. But even in those days that aren't the "fun" ones, I hope they still feel loved, seen and heard.
I was sent this blog post this morning and OMG, tears. It took the thoughts right out of my heart. It felt so good to read this, but also sad. I do hope you head over to read this if you're a mommy. It's so beautifully written.
Here's to you and your motherhood journey! May we stop comparing ourselves to the "Instagram mom" or "Pinterest moms" who look like they've got their shit together at all times! Let's embrace the moment we're actually in and give ourselves grace when we make mistakes. Much love to you all!! xo
Happy online shopping! xo
No comments:
Post a Comment