Friday, February 24, 2017

Black Bell Sleeve + The Surprise Poo

It's Fri-YAY! Finally... I am so ready for the weekend. Mostly because that means the workers won't be in our home this weekend and hopefully they are finished painting the kitchen cabinets by the end of today?! Renovation is so exciting, but MAN, it's exhausting. Not having a kitchen, laundry room, or basically any access to our main floor for two week has been rough. And I have a feeling it's going to spill into next week as well. But we are nearing the end of this giant project and I am so excited for this part of the renovation to be over!

It's been chilly the past couple days in Denver and we even got a little snow! I love these boots for snowy, cold days. These are Uggs and they are sooo comfortable. I love that I can still wear leggings and casual tops with them and it just takes my outfit up a level (as apposed to my more casual Uggs). Or, you can dress them up like I did here. This is the prettiest neutral and matches everything! I don't know why I waited so long to get some "dressier" but still super comfortable boots. They are the best.

This bell sleeve top is old (from Express) but will link similar ones below. I am loving this bell sleeve look right now! Such a fun little detail and I really dig the hint of lace on this top. How cute is this flare sleeve sweater?! Love it. I kept this outfit pretty simple, pairing it with my favorite Rebecca Minkoff bag. Can't get enough of this bag! (Mine is sold out! SAD. But here is the same bag in a smaller version. So pretty. Also really digging this bag.)

I was reminded of a funny story that happened the other day and randomly felt the need to write it out. Warning: this story talks about poop. If talking about poop is wrong, then I don't wanna be right. ;) But seriously. You've been warned. (Story below outfit pics and links.)

Sometimes, you just need to bust out a good lunge.

I used to see a chiropractor on a regular basis. He helped me with some back pain and an old knee injury from dance. His name is Geoff and he was a God-send. Him and his wife lived in a smaller home in Denver with a detached garage that Geoff turned into his office and that's where he'd work on his clients. Before heading into his garage/chiropractic den, Geoff would always ask clients if they needed to use the restroom before getting worked on.

Back track** I have had digestive issues since I can remember. (I told you this whole blog is totes TMI.) Sometimes I go days without going #2. It's brutal. Sometimes, out of nowhere, I'll have a sudden urge to go. Luckily, I've always been near a facility, so I haven't had any close calls. Phew!

But, this one afternoon, I remember going to use the bathroom in Geoff's home with no intention of a #2 happening. But sometimes, it just sneaks up on ya! Geoff was always on me about pooping. Telling me things to eat, not eat, tips on how to massage my belly. Reminding me of how important gut health is. Blah, blah, blah. So I found it ironic that of all places, this is where my body decided to release a sizable poo.

And it was such a relief. Ha! You know that feeling when you have a good 'ol poo and feel 10 pounds lighter? The best, right?! Anywho, turns out Geoff got one of those "water saving", "save the planet" toilets. You know, the kind that barely works because it's trying to conserve water. UGH! I don't understand people being so worried about the earth. I mean, we don't even recycle over here. (Calm down, people. I'm kidding! Kinda.)

Long story short, after several minutes of me trying to flush and crack the bathroom window open because oh dear God, the smell! I realized I had to come to terms with the fact that the toilet was not going to flush. I also remember Geoff was standing outside by the garage waiting on me, and his wife was in the next room (9 months pregnant!) probably wondering what the fuck I was doing in there!

I was forced to put on a brave face (a very RED, brave face) and explain to Geoff's wife what had happened. I remember her sitting on the couch, looking miserable. You know, the way all 9 month pregnant women look. I explained that I used the restroom but the toilet wouldn't flush. She didn't seem concerned at all, telling me that sometimes those water saving toilets don't flush very well. Then she said no big deal. It's just pee, right? And I just stared at her, my face red and in disbelief this was my life. Ummmmm.... no. A number 2. Like a bad number 2. Bahahaha still to this day (this was about 5 years ago!) I think of this story and turn bright red!

She looked at me in pure shock and then said oh!! Well that's embarrassing!! Yes. Yes, it is. Thank you for that. My thoughts were: Welp, good luck with that! Peace! And then I apologized and ran out of the house wishing I was invisible.

Not realizing that Geoff was standing there still waiting for me (I was too focused on escaping), I then had to go get worked on by him for an hour while I explained the horrific story to him! He laughed hysterically! Thank God he saw the humor in it. I was sooo embarrassed. He congratulated me and was proud of my body for pooping. SEE, this is why my body never lets me poop!! And I pretty much haven't pooped since...

I told Tim this story and he of course laughed until he cried. He still tells this story and lauuuuughs. His. Ass. Off. Thanks, babe.

Now that we have three kids to manage, I haven't seen Geoff in ages. Sucks. My body hurts. Sometimes I lay in bed moaning Geofffffff. Tim looks at me strangely for saying another mans name while laying in bed and then oh. Your back again? That sucks. Geez. The sympathy over here is just more than I can bear!.... .... .... ... not. (Said in Borat voice. Obvi.)

So... How's your poop situation these days? ;) Any funny or embarrassing stories? Would seriously love to hear! Ha. Who doesn't love a good laugh??

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